I was super excited about getting to be a research assistant for one of my History professors but I’m beginning to doubt that I’ll be able to produce a fourteen page paper on thirty court cases I don’t actually understand…
My roommate and I are so glad that you practice safe sex. It would be a crime against humanity to create more ignorant misogynistic (google it if that word’s too hard) assholes like you. However, you did not need to inform us that you use protection by stretching your used condom over our doorknob. We believe common sense should indicate that it is only fair for each man to clean up his own semen. My roommate and I didn’t appreciate cleaning up yours at 1AM. In the future, when you’re all done and wracking your brain once again because you just can’t remember where it’s supposed to go, look for one of those cylindrical containers that we call garbage cans, you know, where you dumped your consideration for others ages ago?
P.S. Lay off the weed; we don’t like smelling it every time we step outside.